When life take something from you

Simplicity is a name I give to myself. I like being simple, most of the time, yet,still fashionable where the occasion needs me. But, overall, I am a simple girl. My dream is simple yet still impossible. I don't have much talent except being a crazy person. Ermm, I would say myself as a little naughty in the inside. I love doing crazy stuff.

What's happen in my life? As usual, almost all teenagers found themselves caught in web of trials and tribulation, me, went through the same thing. Just a slight different from any other teenagers out there. Well, we have our own story, didn't we? So, what? I don't give a damn care about it. Life can be a whole lot of bitch but the view is great.

I'm still grateful with I have now and the most important thing is I'm still breathing. I still believe in what I believe in no matter how people gonna say that I am ridiculous to hold on to what I believe in. They can go to hell with what they think about me, but, I'm gonna stand still. I still believe that true and pure love is still exist. Men just have to figure it out!!..go, do some homework with it.

I want to be a writer, a free one..I want to write anything I want  to write..that's why it is called writing. But, my idea always went in and out..never got solid in my mind. I guess my brain doesn't work really well a lot of time. I like to write inspirational ideas, flowing out from my own experience, from others stories, from what I've learnt from people around me. Yes, human being really taught me a lot about life. I wish one day I can go back to where I belong.

My feeling : empty, sad, bitter, frustrated..with someone special? yes, i'm arguing with God..I am worry about my mom condition, my heads gonna blow up anytime. Felt so empty, as if  I don't felt anything. My mom still in the hospital, battling with her diabetes. Sometimes, I got really angry with the situation. I always wonder and question God : my mom is a nice, good person, why does this have to happen to her? I've just finish weeping thinking the situation has put her in. I cannot control my tears every time I think about her. Of how she treated people nicely but in the end, no one really appreciate her. All those years that she went through by herself in her sadness, loneliness and frustration, she doesn't show it to us but I understand what she has gone through those years. And the night I depart from her, it really torn me down, I wept into tears. I couldn't see her face and just leave her like that. I felt as if my life was taken away from me. She keeps on nagging my brother to take her to the other side of the hospital. I just walk and not turning around because I can bear the feelings being apart from her while she is still sick.

I'm sorry mom for not being able to be there and take care of you when you need us the most. Forgive me for not being a good daughter when I suppose to be one. I will always pray for you and that God will always keep you under His care. Deep in my heart, I love you so much,mom.