Nuts? Nuts? or Nuts??

annoyed with how you should behave according to certain rules? get tired of false promises? or get tired of everything? me....i felt it....and the most thing i want to do right now is to eat. hungry so much...i can't imagine how am i gonna survive for the rest of the days....ever imagine that you are dead someday? yeah, i did. every time i think about it, something would meddle in. anything, why should i care? nobody ever give a damn about it. can't wait to go back to my hometown. miss the cold climate and fresh air. felt so sucked up here. with the heat and never-ending final exam. and really, can't wait to finish my study here. i want to go home. fed up with the fake me actually. well, you need to be more persistent and tough to survive here. back then, i don't have to because i love baking fake cakes and imitate others. mimicry.... wonder how long should i wait for my R.I.P day......nonsense, emotional and not making any sense.where did i put my morpher? did i forget to bring it along? once again? i ain't goin back for it...none of my duty, though..actually, i'll be home for christmas....yes, at last, i'm going home. well, first of all, i would like to apologize to everyone if i ever hurt you guys in any way. i might be mad or crazy or freak or stuff like that, i didn't meant to. it is just the hormones. good tidings for everyone and enjoy your holiday...Happy Advent!!!!

As we get Older

As we get older, we love to think about events happened in the past. We love to cherish all happy moments and we even try to remember those peoples who once make our day brighter. And, most of saddest moments and times would bring tears back to us. Recalling moments in our life would stirred thousands of feelings we once experienced in our past. But, those are the things that kept us move on with our lives. As we get older, we started to appreciate other peoples dear to us and willing to do everything that will keep them happy and get rid of the bad things who try to ruin them. But, we always forget, as we get older, those are the things that build them up and helps them grew in faith. When we get older, we like the joyfulness and hate to be alone, but, how can we forget that being alone sometimes gives you the chance to be relate things happened in life with happiness. And, as we get older, we always forget little things that makes us today, our family, our friends, our teachers:- when all those things who gives the biggest success in making us a person today. But, that is how life always turn out to be...as we get older..

Corruption vs Integrity

hey, ass hole..get your ass out of here. this would be my first line if i got the chance to chase out those stupid, lame-ass corrupted people. claiming that you are educated and open-minded doesn't make you all-mighty...just read some article regarding the ignorance and pretentious of the rulers in this land. wake up citizen!!! your vote can change it all. yeah right...even the rulers would play around with your vote..saying that they never banned the people from freedom expression. hey, donkey-butt, do not dare us. you are nothing without us and so are this country. and, the wealth are never yours... you are just lame stupid high class people who think good of themselves. well, i won't right facts here, because they are sometimes not even that true. Facts my ass.

Challenge and Fascinating

how should i lead on my life when everything i want in the future is listening to Christian Bautista's voice? Not denying the actual fact that he really have a nice voice. A romantic one. i'm sure if i met him, my heart would melt. Still, can't forget the love i have for John Lloyd Cruz. anyway, more than anything, there is someone i love much. Jesus, i will always love and miss you the whole of my life. that's all for today. need to go back and do my assignment..

Air Suite Nr. 3 by JohannSebastianBach

listening to some and many soft music now. I really need to relax now while completing my tonnes of assignment. With cool mind and powerful brain, i know i can create something new in my essay. i want to write something different from others. something that really picture me and symbolize my true identity.that's why i need more effort on my reading and add on my new knowledge of peoples and current issue in my surrounding. New lesson, new experience, new knowledge, new understanding and a better picture about the condition and situation I live in.

What Should I Do?

When I let you go one step further, my eyes overflowed with tears,

When you walk one step further, more tears are falling,

As you move away to a place where I can't reach you,

even if I reach out my hand, I can't reach you, I can only cry,

What should I do? What should I do? You're leaving,

What should I do? What should I do? You are leaving me,

I love you, I love you, I cry out to you,

But you can't hear me because I am only shouting in my heart,

All day long I try to forget you, but I think of you again,

All day long I try to say goodbye, but I think of you again,

When you went to a place where I can't hold you,

even if my hands reaches out to you,

I can't see you, I can only cry,

What should I do? What should I do? I can only see you,

What should I do? What should I do? I love you only,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, can you hear me?

please come back to me, if it's not you, I can't go on,

What should I do? What should I do?I only have you,

What should I do? What should I do? you're leaving,

What should I do? What should I do? You are leaving me alone,

I love you, I love you, I cry out to you

but you can't hear me because I am only shouting in my heart.

another lyris from korean drama ost : You Are Beautiful. the song is beautiful indeed.

shOCKED!!!!!

shocked with the latest news....john at shaina nakikitang magkasamang...understand what i mean? mean they are saw together...huwaaaa....my heart is breaking slowly and it eats all of me up. those are the risks you got to know when it comes to fall in love with celebrities. Give me strength.i need to hold on and save my breath. life must go on and i have to learn to forget him. John Lloyd Cruz, we are not meant to be together. from now on, i will take my own way and you can go your own way. actually, i really hope we would meet one day in the next life. I miss John Lloyd Cruz so much. Anyhow, either you two are dating or not, i end all of this here. i'm bringing home a baby bumblebee. ouch, it stung me...what should i write now? herm, maybe about my study, not really impress me with tonnes of assignment and thesis. caught up with no idea inside my big head. gotta do some thinking to finish it all..

How cruel people can be?

everyday i would passed by the same alley to get to my destination. now, i would notice the same scenario happened in the same alley with same faces, and it makes me wondering, how cruel life can be to us? It might involved only me towards this matter. somehow, i got clueless because i never knew their reason of doing it. my friend told me that it happened for any reason it could be. Yes, i guess so, every body did it for a reason. and it would be big misjudgement if i decided to condemn them for what they did. nobody can guess what is going to happen tomorrow. life can be so cruel if we don't know and don't want to know what we are doing. i tend to act like that in the past. but, some major event in my life taught me to give a big attention to what i am doing. Would it make everyone happy or i might hurt someone's without me knowing it. i am normal people, and i do make mistake just like most people did. People can be so cruel to the extent that even i can't understand. it happened in real life. when you start to believe and rely on something, that's when people can be so cruel towards you. but, when i think about it all over again, it is good to just forgive and let go of what had happened. not saying that i easily forget everything, but, to learn to let go will put you in ease.i, just like everybody else, went through frustration, sadness, hardest time in my life encountering human and their various behaviour. I don't care how hard it would be in the future, but, i know life must go on and i will strive it until my last breath and blood. gotcha spirit

Addicted WIth Tv Programme

wahhhh!!!!!!!!!!! so excited with new program on television. Hardly can't stay far from my laptop..just received text from my friend saying that Twilight have made it way in the cinema...and i know one thing i must do...i must get it from the internet. OMG, how must i control myself from being so obsessed with movies and dramas......so what? movies and drama teach me a lot about life. yes, life wouldn't be so beautiful inside TV but at least i got entertained. so good to be back at college..i am free...

Argentina VS Germany

so happy and excited to know that Germany won the quarter final versus Argentine. Even Ballack don't play, the team still have the strength to beat others and prove that they are the qualified one for FIFA 2010. and, for addition, at last went through the industrial training successfully. no complaint but, definitely got lot of work to do. Final report is bugging me, world cup is disturbing me....so interuppted right now. Feel so sleepy and out of idea for my final write. couldn't finish it tonight i guess. Anyway, can't wait for next tournament with Germany on it. Not hoping, really,but is it possible for them to be the champion for this time?

Find me a Soulmate..C5300.

My heart jumps with joy as i heard and watch the milonga. they really dances, mean, totally drenched in the music. Not absurd for someone who love to dance and make it their rythm. I must take dance class for this tango. Love it so much. Not that i forget 'ngajat' as i love to dance. Need more and more practice for ngajat in conjunction with future Teater Muzikal Rentap. Dancing is something that i will do forever in my life. Iwould never forget how it brings joy to me. Wouldn't care how things could turn upside down, but i want to dance until the core of my heart pops out. My sad story that i plunged in the very heart of Kuala Lumpur, I lost my handphone and sim card, both, during my happy little adventure to LCCT. Damn, the person who dare take it from me. Now, i have to burden Florence for any call or messages. i hate thief!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. anyway,can't wait for PTPTN, i am going to buy a new one, my C5300. Enchant myslef this week for My B-Day. Can't wait for the weekend because finally, would be completing my LI in 7 days count. I wanna dance, dance, dance and dance....

I wanna gO hOmE

and i feel just like i'm living someone elses life..it's like i just stepped outside.when everything was going right. and i know just why you could not come along with me, cause this is not your dream, but you always believe in me. let me go home. i've had my run, baby i'm done. it'll all be alright. i'll be home tonight, i'm coming back home. and in this crazy life, and through this crazy time, it's you, it's you, you make me sing. You're every line, you're every word, you're everything. so, la, la,la,la,la,la...you're every song, and i sing along, cause you're my everything.

When I Look At You..

recently, listen to some new songs from Miley. Shut up!! totally heating up the mood inside me...thus, felt totally in heaven for a while. Mom, please let me out. Three weeks more left and we are able to throw ourself out from this so-called dungeon. Notice one thing, from all the population. only the three of us really can communicate with each other. Friends, bear this in mind. Do not let others think low of you.. Chaow.

When new day come.

not really pleasing myself yesterday. got sick out of the bad cold weather the whole week. not seriously fell sick, just a minor nausea attacked me yesterday. it's been a month since i go through Industrial Training at Department of National Heritage in Chulan Tower. well, should i called it a new experience for me. of course, i found plenty of new stuff, new friends, and new bad moment here. not to say it was a bad experience. well, at least it taught me of something. never ever let anybody tramp on you. it is a bit different when you work in the public sector. well, just saying it like that.

SouthPArk Season 1

While most people contemplating on their examination, I on the other side got myself addicted to cartoon. Now, i'm still new in SouthPark. The cartoon seems interesting with those characters, though. Cartman and Kenny get the most of my attention. Love their voices, really suits their age as an elementary students. Starting with the first episode, I really got into a big burst of laughter. Well, i did agree on the issue but, not really with the bad words, such as !!U&@& words going out from their mouth.Cartman gets an anal probe, likes his butt starts to ooze fires, just like dragon. Man, really love the series. As for now, let my new addiction finish the series first before i got and hold on my book for my last paper of the semester. Experiencing the hardest time now, in my life, at my age and youth, come on, it's just a metaphor. Don't even buy it.

It Rains Heavily

It rains a lot recently and the soil became wet, as wet as it can be.As if the human's heart, it could become the most essential part of all that can lead to a mass destruction. A struck at your heart flourishes a beautiful feeling which we always mention, love. But, when you take the slightest wrong turn, your heart can brings you down to the utmost level in your life.how can the most fragile organs in our body turn a human into a monster? Turn the kindest person you ever know to the most revengeful person. It is kind of impossible and ridiculous,if we read it from a logic point of view. Should there be another destruction made by human kind towards each other? Does it leave the most unforgettable memories in our mind when the evil thought and deed strike us? But we, human never learnt from our mistakes and keep on doing the same mistakes all over again? Have we ever consider about God in everything we do? Have we ever think about Him when we want to take revenge or destroying other's life? No, we never take everything into consideration because what matter is ourselves. We have become slaves for our own greed, selfishness, and vicious ambition. But, then, you can't leave God or draw him out completely from our lives. Because GOD is the most essential person in our lives. We could not continue our lives without HIM. Believe it or not, HE is in each of us and HE will always be. SO, a person doesn't have to be your family, friends or enemy for you to recognize GOD. Love each other as much as God have love us. SO, BE IT.

The Way You Look Tonight

Just listening to some songs from the oldies. Kind of reminding me of my childhood favorite movie Mary Poppin, Wizard of Oz. These songs really touches me, like i feels belonged to those feelings. and this songs The Way You Look Tonight sounds very smooth to my ears. i should learn the American Smooth. I wish I know how to do the American Smooth. well, i guess i need a lots of training and attending classes if i am serious about it. not merely now because time doesn't considerate on you. just have to live with it.

Slim River...20.02.2010

Accompanying my roommate and friend, Florence for her appointment today. The two of us went to Slim River Hospital and had a very pleasant experience. A la Gulliver's Travel, I would say. Walking downtown and buy something in the small town.Even though things and the weather were hot but, both of us enjoy each second we spent in the new town. At least, it is, for us a new place to go apart from pekan Tanjung Malim. The glass get blurry and my eyes cannot stand it anymore. After a long and tiring journey, i knew i need a long and enough rest tonight. See you all next diary....

New Experience

Spend time with Gee at the kiosk...Havin' our lunch together...Mi Sup...Low price and deliciously finger lickin' good. A whole new and lot event happened around the class and society. Which most of them still get locked in what I should called society expectations. Gathering all my resources and energy to finish my assignment. Such a hot day today, still can't believe I am survive until the evening. Listening to Tom's song and it really makes me feel hippy. The melody is worth to cherish, though. Remembering my grandmother and parent's advice give me the reason to graduate with good grade.Need much more smart works and a little more time to go. What shall i Do after campus? It is so clear that I would need a job before get posted to certain areas in Sarawak. So much thinking to do and i don't really have times to meditate myself in true love emotion. i'm so tired and need rest. My head after all, started to blow up. Hiding myself in my little blog after a whole day of hot, busy and dusty campus of Sultan Abdul Jalil Shah. Feeling very well and can't wait for this CNY sem break. I already promise Rita to come and visit her. Friend, miss you so much.I think i'm going to cut it until this length.

Prayer of St. Francis.

Verse 1:
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me bring your love.
Where there is injury, your pardon, Lord,
And where there's doubt, true faith in you.

Verse 2:
Make me a channel of your peace.
Where there's despair in life, let me bring hope.
Where there is darkness only light,
And where there's sadness ever joy.

Refrain:
Oh Master, grant that I may never seek
So much to be consoled as to console.
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love with all my soul.

Verse 3:
Make me a channel of your peace.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
In giving of ourselves that we receive,
And in dying that we're born to eternal life.

Words touch the very core of our heart if we will listen to them. Music makes it possible for us to understand the emotion of the song. Meditating at how music can bring so much in our life, that's how much we need God in our life. The core of life as I would see it through my window is a process of learning every step, decision, belief, stand and consequences we make and bear all the way. Apart of taking granted of the greatest gift from God to us, this is why we should make it as meaningful as could. We might not have tomorrow to watch the next sunrise, but, give thanks and praise to God for every breath and second of time He spare for us. No matter how hard life could be and no matter how bad the day could be, give yourself chance to smile.