THIS IS HOW I WANT TO REMEMBER MYSELF

                           
                                    THIS IS HOW I WANT TO REMEMBER MYSELF

this is how i want to remember myself. a person that always want to try new things and challenges in life. a person who will get angry only for a few minutes. a person who owns a big heart and a plenty of room for love. a person who loves to eat but afraid of food. a person who have so much to share with everyone. and i miss the old me. a person who loves to play futsal so much and a person who loves to hang out with friends when she had that free time. 

i want to remember myself as a faulty person. a person who curse when she want to curse. wow, that's a hard word there. i want to remember myself as a person who do many mistakes and stupid fault when i knew it is wrong and stupid. i don't want to be call as good girl. i hate it when people call and assume me a good girl. i hate it so much........arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..see, how much i hate that title. because i know i'm not.what good girl am I when i can't even defend myself when they did that to me.i hate to think or remember anything about it. i disgust of myself every time the images replay in my medula oblongata or what lobus does it include in. 

hey, but, know what, i'm moving on. i know my smile won't be the same again but i still smile. Lord, give me the strength i need in this life. Only for this very moment. I want to love, i want to live,i want to have faith, i want to have hope, i want to trust.