Stop being a selfish

Stop from being a selfish person. It struck me right through my heart. After reading one of my friend's blog, I suddenly felt a touch in my heart. Stop being a selfish, Ayung. Stop thinking that you're the only person in this world who have that problem. Stop thinking about yourself, learn to give much more than you take from others. The worst thing happen in your life is when you fail to give and receive a lot from others. 

Blaming others and hating them is not what God want you to be in your life. Start anew and love others much more than they love you. Forget what wrong people have done to you, take it as a lesson, for you to be more mature and brave. Yeah, but I just can't stand some people.

Especially those who take advantage of our sweetness and kindness. Those people who build their hall of fame on others fall. These species need to be withdrawn from this planet and extinct. I experience all this type of people, whole my life. I just can't stand them. If I got a 9mm in my hand, I'll shoot them in the head. 

Anyway, I don't want my blood pressure to rise, so I'm gonna stop here. Chao!!

Twinkle Twinkle Little Star

                                                                                                                                                       Leading a new life as a single person. Give me strength, O Lord to face this world with the support and encouragement from the people around me. 

Receive an email from a long-lost friend that really miss me. She miss me a lot that she reminds me to buy her present for her 30th birthday. 
Dear friend, If i'm still breathing on your 30th birthday, certainly, I will give you the birthday present you ask for. And Lord, tag this as my important mission.


I have another important mission this year. To really meet 'THE ONE'..Lord, I'm not rushing into it. I know You have Your own time to introduce me to him.. hehhehee..And i really can't imagine who's that man would be..Just wondering though.

Today, this period cramp really got into me. It distract my emotion, activity and my job. I couldn't do anything straight and in good manner. I mean, I have to do them slowly as the pain is excruciating and killing me inside.

A lot of work to be done, I don't know if i can finish it tonight. I really want to finish it..put my whole heart and effort into it.

Star-gazing tonight? No, there's no star tonight. The sky is dark and gloomy..as it is in my heart now..huargghhhhh....

Danza Kuduro

It's been a few weeks. But, hell,no..i'm not leaving this page. I'm here till the end. This blog is the only free-media and strictly no public social network log book for me. I can write anything in here without everyone's knowing eventhough my followers might interested of what I'm writing inside here. I guess I'm not that much attraction to other people.

Ok, been listening to a lot of music recently and Terry is still my Scottish rockstar. Had just listen to Let It Be by him in the Semi Finals few days ago. That's why I'm very fond of English man, they never fail me. I'm not being discriminate others here. Just saying.

The photo above is me (on the right) and Helen (my friend) during our weekend trip to Brunei. Yeah, spending weekend in my place where I work is not much interesting except for the tranquil and harmony environment they offer. A small town, I would say.

Danza Kuduro is a song introduce to me by a friend. And been listening to it every morning for my exercise session. yeah, I did shake some hips..LOL..Nothing important and too emotional event occur this few weeks. Still seeking adventure ahead. Life is boring when it is monotonous.

I want to quarell (been a long time since....). I don't want just to live my life very typical. At least, until the day of my death. Because, if it is too monotonous, I don't have any story to tell to my children. And it is boring.

Should I go and do crazy stuff with my buddies? Yes, I should.. Still thinking what crazy stuff we should do in this freaking holiday. But, yeah, we break the rules this year. Driving other's car without even telling where we are going, that's one, even though its minor. It is like we are car theft. After all, I still have few years before I turn 30, so I really don't want to waste time. And you know what, people are saying the right fact. When u did crazy stuff, you are the craziest of yourself. I admit it. I kinda feel the excitement. Really, it's hard to find crazy friends as you're getting older. 

I think that's enough with the craziness I wrote in here. Till I come again..

Dear God

                                                             Dear God

When a lot of them think that I pictured a good image, there are so little of them knew what actually happened. Zero of them. Dear God, I don't want to feel discourage but that is exactly what I'm feeling right now. Will i ever get over of what had occurred? 

I know that it is not good to dwell too long in your past, but what if it haunted you all along? I'm not talking about past relationship here, just some story that I couldn't share with other people other than myself. Yeah, not even the person I trust the most. 

It's my fault though back then. And I never being able to forgive myself for that reason. Up until today. Maybe that's why I keep holding myself back to get really attach in a relationship. I'm still afraid. This endless fear, I don't know where it will end. Dear God, the only thing I ask from You is to hold me very tight..

       
               The Voice Season 3

I'm officially Terry McDermott fan. He rocks, like a solid rock, he's a rock star. Watching him performing is like watching a real Scorpion or U2 in live concert.And not forgetting that he is Scottish.Wow, that makes it more interesting. yeah, i'm speaking in accent now...LOL..ok, honestly speaking, he really nails me on the Summer 0f 69 performance. Watching his performance over and over again in the UTUBE, can't get enough of it. Blake is the real coach, I would say. He makes little things interested..yeah, Terry is small but he is a charming. A charming rock star. 

I guess it is because of his experience gives him the advantage. He doesn't look awkward performing on stage. Anyhow, good luck to Terry and looking forward to the final performance from him. Terry, you can win this. I'm here to support you.    

                         Wicked Witch of East (Stories)
There will be..a wicked witch who plan to invade this land..because of her hatred to human. who is it, still remain a mystery...to be continue..

LOL..i'm crapping. i just love crapping or talk crap...and i love singing very much even when I know i don't have a nice voice..i love writing..i write everything i see, what i feel at the momemnt and the most thing i like is listening to stories...

I love listening to stories and i get excited every time that person dearest to me starts talking and story-telling..even when we only talk through phone..i can feel as if he is next to me..he will eventually, starts talking about things he knew, things he read etc..and i feel really close to him. There's always something about him every time i talk to him. And, to a point that his stories actually became my lullaby..yes, my lullaby..i can fall asleep just hearing him in the phone..hahhahhaa...i'm so corny..

he had a lot to tell..everything..every stories he had actually entertain me. And I just want to listen his stories. Sometimes, it surprise me that I never thought he would have so much knowledge and i don't know what to say..and I fall in love one more time with him. That is so dare. But, then,the most thing feared still happens. I lose him once again, and maybe this time for real..


It is just another story.
 

THIS IS HOW I WANT TO REMEMBER MYSELF

                           
                                    THIS IS HOW I WANT TO REMEMBER MYSELF

this is how i want to remember myself. a person that always want to try new things and challenges in life. a person who will get angry only for a few minutes. a person who owns a big heart and a plenty of room for love. a person who loves to eat but afraid of food. a person who have so much to share with everyone. and i miss the old me. a person who loves to play futsal so much and a person who loves to hang out with friends when she had that free time. 

i want to remember myself as a faulty person. a person who curse when she want to curse. wow, that's a hard word there. i want to remember myself as a person who do many mistakes and stupid fault when i knew it is wrong and stupid. i don't want to be call as good girl. i hate it when people call and assume me a good girl. i hate it so much........arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..see, how much i hate that title. because i know i'm not.what good girl am I when i can't even defend myself when they did that to me.i hate to think or remember anything about it. i disgust of myself every time the images replay in my medula oblongata or what lobus does it include in. 

hey, but, know what, i'm moving on. i know my smile won't be the same again but i still smile. Lord, give me the strength i need in this life. Only for this very moment. I want to love, i want to live,i want to have faith, i want to have hope, i want to trust.